Not being Santa Claus frees me up to do lots of stuff.
I’m not responsible for delivering gifts to the 1.9 billion children of the world. Be thankful for that. Logistics isn’t in my wheelhouse.
The Santa Operations Center at NORAD reports that Santa had an on-time departure. He’s following his usual route, starting in the South Pacific, hitting New Zealand, Australia, Japan, Asia, Africa, Europe, followed by North America and South America. At the time of writing this post, Santa is about to deliver to Kenya. NORAD says they aren’t responsible for planning Santa’s route – they just track him! Which is good for NORAD because that frees their staff up for other things too.
Here are 5 things I’ve done with the free time I have (from not being Santa):
1. Travel to Seattle. I made my way to Seattle to spend the holiday with margagogo’s Marketing Director and North West Correspondent, as well as margagogo’s two biggest non-margarita drinking fans and margagogo’s future Investigative Reporter and Managing Editor. (Tracking how people move around so gifts can be delivered properly must be time-consuming and a giant pain in Santa’s tuchas.)
2. Win all Tickle Fights. Since the future margagogo employees are only 8 and 5, I can still take em. Size and a team approach makes my future standing in tickle fights uncertain. My nieces are getting bigger and getting organized.
3. Manage Amazing Feats of Athletic Prowess. Ice skating and rock wall climbing topped off with cartwheels are what it takes to keep up with the margagogo team. I made it to the top of the rock wall (in the children’s section), never left the ice till skating ended and after years of considering my body a no cartwheel zone, managed impressive cartwheel form. Christmas is an endurance event for everyone. I’m a little tired now so I can’t imagine how Santa feels when he parks his sleigh back at the North Pole on the 26th. He is an endurance champion. But as crafty as he is about getting down chimneys, I’m certain he can’t pull off cartwheels.
4. Eat and Eat More. Evidence indicates that Santa makes this a priority and everyone celebrating is doing the same. So I won’t dwell on food. I’ll just say that I’m stuffed full and can’t imagine eating again at least until dinner. Thank goodness I only have to wait a few hours.
5. Drink Margaritas. Santa needs to be sober but since I’m not driving a sleigh tonight, sobriety isn’t a priority for me. My future Managing Editor and I invented the song “The 10 Margaritas of Christmas” and I’m ashamed to say that actual events don’t live up to the lyrics. But, I did manage to taste test at three different venues:
La Catrina. Seattle, WA. Nothing says “Christmas” like a mural with a skeleton. And nothing says “Christmas” to me like a pint-sized margarita that’s actually good. What a gift! So if you’re in Seattle, check out La Catrina. It’s in Georgetown – a hip and gritty neighborhood. (For you East-Coasters, it reminds me of Hoboken of ten years ago.)
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- La Catrina Mural
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- The Drinks – Pint Size!
The Whale Wins. Seattle, WA. I made a mistake by not asking them where the name came from but going here was a genius idea (credit to my Marketing Director). They’re serious about their drinks and take great pride in the mixing. And the bartender was happy to share his margarita secret – Dry Curaçao instead of Triple Sec or Cointreau to give the drink zip without syrup sweetness. It worked. I had two. If you go to the Whale Wins, make a reservation or go at lunch. I hear they get quite a crowd.
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- Whale Wins Drinks!
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- Whale Call at Whale Wins
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- The Secret Ingredient
The Big Picture. Possibly the best place in Seattle, WA. It’s a theatre and a bar. A bar and a theatre. If you give them your seat number they will deliver drinks to you as often as you direct. They too serve a margarita in a pint glass (scary sign) and they too pull it off! And they’re serious about their mixing. They also serve popcorn in champagne buckets and give out Hershey’s Kisses with the tickets. I love this place.
Merry Christmas! I hope not being Santa gives all of you time to focus on the important stuff too.
margagogo 